The Secret Diary Of A. Raja
The world must be told about the story of the ‘double life’ of Spectrum Raja—comic hero and minister....
In my home town of Perambalur, Tamil Nadu, I am known by several names. Years ago when I was an ordinary MP, I was Lok Sabha Raja. Later, when I became minister of state in the NDA government, I was referred to as Arogya Raja. When I joined Manmohan Singh’s first cabinet as MoS for environment and forests, I was Jungle Raja. Then, when Dayanidhi Maran was asked to quit as Union telecom minister after his spat with Karunanidhi and I was given his job, I became cellphone Raja. These days, in my second stint in the ministry, I am jocularly referred to as Spectrum Raja.
The Spectrum moniker has an interesting background to it. When I first took over as telecom minister from Dayanidhi, I consulted my trusted astrologer and palmist in Kodambakkam. He predicted how I would dominate the air waves (he apparently saw MHz written all over my stars and my palms). Anyway, to cut a long story short, after he said several good things about my future, he gave me a parting gift—a comic book simply titled ‘Spectrum Raja’ (publisher, Vasu Books, Madurai). I read it on the flight to Delhi. The story was about a Robin Hood-like hero who sells off to the poor (at heavily discounted prices) gold and money he has robbed from the rich. I even found Spectrum Raja’s dialogues rather witty. “Don’t move! If moving all six bullets will fly into your chest,” is my favourite. And what about this, when Spectrum goes to loot a bank: “I am a robber and I have come for robbery.”
I certainly liked the swagger of Spectrum Raja. But why did my astrologer give me this comic specifically? Why not some Tamil pulp fiction? The mystery cleared up once I took over as telecom mantri. One of my first tasks was to allocate the 2G Spectrum. Not one to miss an opportunity to play Robin Hood, I grabbed it with both hands. “The spectrum must be sold to unknown companies who are not even in telecom. Keep the big players out,” I pronounced and in one stroke created a scam that would put Sukh Ramji to shame.
However, what I did not factor in was a character in the comic book—Cee Vee Cee Iyer, an upper-caste villain who trains his sights on Spectrum Raja, a Dalit. But in the story he is neutralised by the genial Manmohanan—the first Sikh king of south India—who absolves Spectrum Raja of all crimes. So, finally it’s an ‘all’s well that ends well’ tale. Will my stint as telecom minister also have a similar fairytale ending or will the CVC nemesis have its way with me?
It’s hard to say. But with Manmohan Singhji’s support I am optimistic. Meanwhile, I have dispatched a photocopy of the comic and my life story to Mani Ratnam who has promised to immortalise it on the big screen. Which is indeed commendable. After all, the world must be told about the story of the ‘double life’ of Spectrum Raja—comic hero and minister....
(As imagined by Ajith Pillai)