I realised all these things only after I won this award-- that it is coming to Malayalam after 14 years, that I am the fifth Malayalam actress to win this award and this is the sixth time Malayalam has won the best actress award. The award itself was a shock for me. I was again surprised when I heard Aishwarya Rai was there in the competition. I heard Shabana Azmi was also there. So, it was another surprise. The award triggered a quick burst of surprises.
I am really happy because national award is a dream for every actor. Though most of us don’t say it, every actor has this dream. I also had it. I am not a heroin. Not a supporting actress. Nor a junior actress. I have been doing small roles which do not come under any of these classifications. So, my ambition was to win a national award in the supporting actress category. That too in my 40s or 60s. If I won the award at that age, I think I would have enjoyed it more. Now, I am too overwhelmed. When the hype of the award ends, I may feel like I should have done it this way or that way. But, I am definitely happy about it. It was the dream of all actresses (in Malayalam) for the last 14 years. It was a dream for me as well. A dream which I never even dared to tell anyone. And when I saw the news about it… I really don’t know how to explain my feelings about it.