Having a common vocation can be hard work for a relationship, especially when publishing success, much like romance, is capricious. What’s crucial though, is to bear solitude in community. Psychoanalyst and distinguished writer Sudhir Kakar and wife Katharina, a scholar of comparative religion, discovered that through their 18-year-long relationship. Their beautiful home in a pristine Goa village reverberates with words, but also has a halo of quiet around it. “We’ve spent many more years together than most other couples because we are always together, travelling, working or writing. Yet, when we are at work, our spacious verandah gets divided into separate work zones. One end is occupied by Sudhir, the other by me. Sometimes, you need to withdraw from everything and your partner must understand that,” notes Katharina. Intimacy comes with sharing a cycle of work and recreation. They are both interested in people, culture and spirituality, yet are poles apart as individuals. Katharina, the extrovert, keep herself busy with art and social work, while Sudhir, more reserved, delights in solitary swims and long beach walks. “Sudhir is very rooted and patient, rarely stressed out, while I work well under pressure. He has clearly defined writing schedules, while I work more on impulse.” With intimacy also comes criticism. “We are very critical of each other. That inoculates you from all other negative reviews at the least,” says Sudhir, smiling. But mutual admiration and respect for each other’s work has ruled their relationship. “Katharina’s writing is more anthropological. Her empathy for people and positive approach to life finds bearing in her work.” Evidently, Katharina is in thrall of Sudhir’s poetic style, his in-depth, sensitive writing, his ability to keep different containers for different kinds of thoughts. They say it’s about getting the physics, chemistry and biology of a relationship right.