More Than Just Mothers

TIRELESS provider. Eternal supporter. Selfless nurturer. If there's one stereotype in Indian advertising that refuses to die, it's the Indian mother. The homebound mother who draws the meaning of her life from raising winners, getting the cleanest, whitest and brightest wash in town, and dishes sparkling like mirrors. A woman with bottomless wells of dedication and devotion.

 Is the Indian mother trapped in the picture-perfect frame of the marketer's perception, the adman's imagination and society's expectations? Made immortal by shutterbugs in hundreds of ads selling soaps and detergents and baby products and health foods and housing loans and insurance policies.

Is this woman for real? Or rather, does today's real woman with a real job in a real home with real problems, connect with this reel woman? Admen themselves aren't sure. "Mothers in our ads are boring, repetitive images of Hindustan Lever's 'Lalitaji'; an MNC's worldview of the Indian woman. It smacks of dishonesty and insincerity," says Freddie Birdie, creative director, Mudra.

Neither are women superhumans who don't feel angry, sad, dejected and frustrated. "Advertisers and market researchers tend to look at consumption patterns and accordingly straitjacket women as traditionalists or hedonists or sophisticates. They're missing the basic point. Women are human beings first, then consumers. To understand them as consumers, you must know how they think, feel, respond and react in real-life situations," says Lopa Banerjee, consumer insights director, McCann-Erickson.

So what is the real-life Indian mother like? Life for her is tough. Made tougher by a changing social milieu in a transiting economy. "India in transition is like a railway junction with different tracks going in different directions. Some women are on the fast track of self-discovery and self-fulfillment while others are taking the old route, like their mothers, to nowhere," says Shivjeet Kullar, director, Joint Communications. That probably explains why stereotypes of her abound, ranging from the happy homemaker to the look-good, feel-good sophisticate. "None connect to the heart," says Kullar.

One reason is that the marketer himself is not very sure where the heart of the 'new' woman lies. "New sensibilities are emerging from the collapse of the traditional role of mother and the emerging social structure. In a nuclear structure, for instance, the relationship of the mother with her children is changing drastically. It's much more playful, light, casual and friendly. Ditto the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship. The overpowering, overbearing mother-in-law can now be consigned to history. Some ads might have captured the nuances of these changes, but the majority are bypassing it," says Pankaj Mridul, creative director, R.K. Swamy/BBDO. The result is a lack of sharp focus on the changing hopes, aspirations and sensibilities of the mothers, says Abhinav Dhar of creative shop Dhar & Hoon.

What are these sensibilities? Ogilvy & Mather, the $8.8 billion advertising agency, has come up with some interesting insights into the 'truth behind mothers' in the cities of Delhi, Mumbai, Chennai, Bangalore and Calcutta, as part of a comprehensive study on Asian mothers spread across 12 markets. Some key findings:

Simmering within: That's what she is, beneath the calm, unruffled exterior, like her counterparts in Hong Kong, Singapore or Kuala Lumpur. Simmering with unfulfilled desires and rising expectations. But unlike the mother in Hong Kong or Kuala Lumpur, she doesn't view life as unrealised ambition and desire. "Life is full of feeling unfulfilled," laments a Hong Kong mother. "Life isn't fair—we women are at the losing end," complains a woman in Kuala Lumpur. The Delhi mother's response? "I don't want to be reborn as a man. I want to be reborn as the husband of my husband."

The Indian woman, in general, is striving for appreciation from within her home, more than any kind of social recognition. Her yearnings: an acknowledgement of the change and sacrifice she undergoes when she slips into the role of mother. Individuality is important to her but only in the context of her home. She is essentially harmony-seeking, redistributes her strength easily to the different roles she performs as daughter, mother, wife. And all she asks for in return is some personal space and a wider say in family matters. "You can't call me selfish if I spend a little time on myself. You must encourage me," says one mother, echoing a sentiment found across all cities. Her desire: acknowledge me for what I do, and accept me for who I am. This yearning of her 'role' and 'soul', however, remains unfulfilled.

Roles within roles: Mothers will be mothers. But they're also maids, managers, mediators, mates. As a mother, she continues to provide love, support, education to children, protecting them from the pitfalls of life and propelling them to be achievers. As a maid, she completes all the chores and sets standards for others to follow. As manager, she organises the household enterprise; contributes to family finances. As mediator, she listens to and solves others' problems. As mate, she showers love, supports her husband's status in society.

Plus there are societal pressures and expectations. "In India, women get married into a family, not just the man," says a mother. "My marriage and my in-laws killed my ambitions," says a Mumbai woman. Home becomes place of pride sometimes, prison another time. In Mumbai, the mother tries finding meaning outside the home. In Delhi, she vents her individuality within the home while taking care not to step on anyone's foot. "You've to bury your ego, yet be free," she says. In Chennai, she looks for ways to increase her control over the home. In Bangalore, she itches for something new but in an unobtrusive kind of way. The Indian mother's individuality is not the kind that screams from the rooftops but one that strengthens her from within.

Soul behind role: The study also looks at the emotional hot buttons and trigger points that drive mothers. The Mumbai mother is the most self-driven of all. Her major source of motivation is financial capability fueled by an ambition to build a better future. She is least inhibited, fantasises about herself as a free individual. The Delhi woman is firmly rooted in her need to bond with children and be proud partner to her mate. Individuality is acceptable but only in the family context. Acceptance and being liked is her primary motivator. The Chennai woman looks at self-sufficiency and self-improvement as a route to increasing control over her house. "I wish I could be strong enough to meet all the needs of my family members," she says. Her rewards lie in close moments with husband and kids but in ways that increase her control over them. For the Bangalorean, the source of sustenance is occasional self-indulgence: "It's raining, I'm all by myself, sipping my coffee...the idea's so romantic. "

And the soul-role conflict: The bottomline: a brand needs to establish a connection between the mother's role and her soul. According to the O&M study, there are perhaps eight acceptable portrayals of the average Indian mother, portrayals that could strike a chord with her: l a successful woman, not necessarily a powerful one l manager-mediator-mate, not just maid-mother