Delhi Diary

Free Bureau of Investigation

Of all the shrill, over-the-top accusations the BJP makes in the Amit Shah/Narendra Modi case, one shrill, over-the-top accusation requires to be taken seriously. And that concerns the CBI, or as god’s own party prefers, the Congress Bureau of Investigation. It is undeniable that the CBI, especially when probing a political case, can be and is manipulated. In the present inquiry into extortion and fake encounters in Gujarat, they seem to be doing a professional job largely because they have to report not to the government but to the Supreme Court. Nevertheless, both the BJP and the Congress-led governments have in the past shamelessly “used” India’s premier investigating agency. Examples? We have an embarrassment of riches, so I won’t burden you. For a taste, watch any TV debate on CBI’s partisanship and you get an idea of the ferocious finger-pointing between the Congress and the BJP when the subject is raised.

Well-meaning citizens throw up their hands in despair and ask: “What is to be done?” There is no shortage of suggestions—from having a Gandhian figure head the body to “cleaning up the rot”. Unfortunately, all the proposals involve tinkering with a sick organisation, when what is required is major surgery. As long as the CBI remains an arm of the government, reporting to the prime minister of the day, it will continue to be misused. Period.

If one examines the institutions in our otherwise robust democracy which work reasonably, you will notice that they are all institutions constitutionally free from government control. The higher judiciary performs because the government has no role to play in its functioning. Even the chief justice is appointed through seniority. The EC performs because it is structurally insulated from the ruling party. The media, for all its sensationalism and bias, performs because it answers only to its maliks, who increasingly appreciate the importance of credibility.

The only way to make the CBI truly independent is to unshackle it from government control. That, we all know, will never happen since the two main parties have a vested interest in the status quo.
Therefore, the fiction of CBI having “nothing to do with the government” will persist. Unless, of course, Prakash Karat by some magic becomes the PM. The downside of that situation is he will insist on breaking off diplomatic relations with the United States!

Pleasures of Anonymity

Is having an anonymous, nondescript face an asset for the politician and the film star? The late Alec Guinness was unanimously voted Mr Everyman by the critics after his masterly TV portrayal of George Smiley, based on John le Carre’s spy novels. Guinness wrote in his autobiography that he found it laughably easy to get lost in a crowd with no one recognising him. He didn’t mind being overlooked at all, he rather enjoyed it, but he would get hugely irritated when strangers would stop him on the street and ask, “Excuse me, your face looks very familiar. I’m sure I’ve seen you somewhere before, can you tell me who you are?”

The blandest and most colourless politician (he’s also been voted the best PM the country ever had) in British public life was undoubtedly Clement Attlee, the Labour prime minister, 1945-51. Winston Churchill once quipped: “An empty cab drew up outside 10, Downing Street, and Clement Attlee got out of it.” Who has the most forgettable face in contemporary Indian politics? While there are many contenders, my choice is BJP president Nitin Gadkari.

A Mutt-Have

Can I plug a slim book while simultaneously declaring an interest? I’ve written a blurb for Habib Rehman’s A Home For Gori (Roli, Rs 150) which mostly is a paean to Habib’s dog, Gori. Mr Rehman was, till recently, a hot-shot director of ITC hotels, travel, tourism and for business. But the hospitality industry was clearly his second or third love. His first was “man’s best friend”. And currently he is the proud owner of 14.

Gori, the petite heroine of the book, was smuggled into the Rehman home by Mrs Rehman, much to the annoyance of Mr Rehman. This enchanting memoir recounts how Habib became hopelessly besotted with Gori, and when she passed away, he resolved to build his home so that it overlooked her grave.

Both Editor and I unreservedly recommend the book. I have only one small quarrel with Habib. I admire his attachment to dogs, but why only pedigreed mutts? He would gladden my heart if he adopted an aam aadmi.

A Butler’s Tale

The British press is having a field day teasing their prime minister for using the services of a butler (a species almost extinct in the UK) during his stay at the Leela Kempinski in Bangalore. Moreover, the butler (Leo) had a name which could have come out of central casting. Leo’s conclusion that Cameron was almost Gandhian in his needs, disregarding the fact he has been charged and convicted of fiddling his parliamentary expenses, has added to the merriment.