Ek Chhoti Si...

Put those newspapers aside, lie back and think of Punjab. Of star-crossed love. Of the great difficulties of just meeting. A ride in the boot of a car could not have been comfortable, and we can only hope that the end was rewarding. But it was never to be: the princess and the commoner, the very rich and merely the upper middle class, the Christian and the Muslim, the British and the Pakistani, those different worlds, differing fates. Society prevails, tragedy strikes. And these things take a touch of the Chenab. As you come towards Haryana you will find excellent tractors but very little romance.

Punjab has a great tradition of producing Romeos, Nayar told his fans. Always adventurous, always unsuccessful. Who can blame British royalty for loving us so much? Remember Duleep Singh, son of Maharaja Ranjit Singh? He used to be such a favourite of Queen Victoria. There is the beginning of a theory here. One that demands what a star businessman called some "changi research".

Research findings: Really sophisticated women like men who are rather bright but at least a little crude. And so the mismatch goes with the attraction. That makes it so hard to beat a Punjabi at unsuccessful love.