The Anant Ambani-Radhika Merchant wedding ceremonies have gone on for so long that we’ve no sense of time, no memory of memory. All we’ve instead is questions: When did they start? Where did they happen? When will they end? Will they ever end? In March 2024, when the celebrations in Jamnagar had clogged the social media platforms for weeks, the following events were yet to happen: Lok Sabha elections, T20 World Cup, Arvind Kejriwal’s arrest. More than four months later, Kejriwal has come out of, and gone back into, jail; the Indian team has won the World Cup; the BJP has failed to attain a majority; but the youngest Ambani is still (technically) a bachelor. His wedding ceremonies have lasted longer than the entire duration of Kim Kardashian’s marriage (72 days); they’ve lasted for so long, in fact, that they’ve overwhelmed the media outlets, which publish such head-scratching headlines as, “Keeping up with the Ambani wedding”, “From ‘Roka’ to ‘Gol Dhana’: A timeline of Anant Ambani-Radhika Merchant’s relationship”, “Ok, so when is the Ambani wedding actually taking place?” And as the royalty celebrates—and celebrates—the pauper plebeians can do nothing but watch and, of course, make memes. One could be from a scene in Masaan (2015), where Vicky Kaushal’s character wails, “Saala, yeh dukh khatam kaahe nahin hota hai be [Why does this pain never end, damnit]?”