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Bull's Eye

Australia, Pakistan and India were compelled to probe possible match-fixing in cricketTests. A tennis champion was caught taking performance-enhancing ...

Australia, Pakistan and India were compelled to probe possible match-fixing in cricketTests. A tennis champion was caught taking performance-enhancing drugs. So were worldclass cyclists, footballers and sprinters. A probe is on to investigate possiblecorruption in the latest world heavyweight boxing championship bout. Another probeuncovered corruption in the working of the International Olympic Committee. Six membershave been sacked.

Sport ain't what it used to be. It became entertainment. It became big business. Itbecame corruption. It is becoming politics. That should make Indian prospects rosy. Theseare the kind of sports reports I expect to read in the next millennium.

'India created a sensation in World Cup soccer when its team defeated defendingchampions France nine goals to one in the quarter-finals. After France scored a quick goalin the first minute the complexion of the match totally changed. Eight of the Frenchplayers defected to the Indian side. The three remaining French players were no match forthe 11 Indians and eight Frenchmen. After the match the spokesman for the French defectorsstoutly denied that money played any role. 'It was an act of conscience!' he said. Indiawill sail into the finals because the Brazilian team has withdrawn due to all its membersfalling sick.'

'Ghoos Singh, son of cabinet minister Rishwat Singh, became the first Indian to win anindividual Olympic gold when he won the finals of the 100 meters sprint event yesterday.In a surprisingly slow timing of 12 seconds Ghoos Singh managed to stay ahead of asluggish team of top American sprinters. 'I guess it just wasn't our day,' the Americansprint champion said with a happy grin. 'We're going home a disappointed team. We'll flyback tonight via Zurich. We must first attend to a little business in the bank.'

'The sensex plunged by over 100 points after the news broke that the world's topbatsman Sachin Tenderfoot had sacked his financial advisor and investment consultant MohanGoofswamy. Mr Goofswamy claimed that he had resigned. The 25 leading multinationals whichbanked heavily on endorsements of their products by Mr Tenderfoot were destabilised whenMr Goofswamy abruptly cancelled earlier contract commitments. Mr Tenderfoot's aides claimthat Mr Goofswamy exceeded his brief. Mr Goofswamy alleged that Mr Tenderfoot's vastfinancial empire was being run by an incompetent cabal.'

Now the aim
Of the game
Is winning fame
And a brand-name!

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