The patient walked into the country's top clinic for a checkup. The doctor tookout a form. "Your name?"
"Akhil Bhajapa," said the patient.
"Show your tongue," the doctor said. He gasped. "Your tongue is forked!This is quite abnormal! Do you have any strange speech symptoms?"
"Only when speaking to the press, doctor. I have this strange compulsion to say theopposite of what I said the previous day."
"Hmm! Sit down." The doctor sharply rapped the knee with a small instrument. Theleg didn't move.
"Is it osteoarthritis?" the patient asked anxiously.
"No such luck," the doctor said gloomily. "Your knees are dead. Do you putmuch strain on them?"
"No, doctor - except that I spend daily half the time on my knees when I visit RSSheadquarters."
"Your brain scan shows a huge clot. It affects your entire nervous system. Do yournerves behave strangely at times?"
"No, doctor. But I get an uncontrollable fit whenever I hear a particular word."
"That's most unusual," the doctor said. "In the whole world suchsymptoms afflict only a tiny minority..."
"Aaaargh!" The patient screamed. "Doctor, you shouldn't have said thatword!" He almost choked. Then he started shaking and sweating uncontrollably.
After receiving sedatives, the patient calmed down. The doctor beamed a light in his eye.Then he gasped. "Heavens, what a huge blindspot! Can you see anything at all?"
"My eyesight is perfect, doctor," the patient said angrily. "I can see theisi from thousands of miles away!"
"What about nearer objects?" the doctor asked. He held up a newspaper with aheadline saying a church had been burnt. "Can you read that?"
"Read what?"
"The headline on the paper," the doctor said impatiently.
"What paper?" the patient said blankly.
The doctor sighed and gestured the patient to sit down. "Your condition is verycritical," he said gravely. "I recommend you immediately consult somespecialists. Meanwhile, you must remain calm. Rid your mind of all worries."
"But I can't help worrying, doctor!"
"What do you worry about?"
"The PM's health!"
"He's fine," the doctor said tersely. "I examined him last week. Butif you don't watch out, you won't survive a year!"