People say that the IT economy has opened new vistas for India. Recently, Outlook cameout with a cover story describing how even farmers feel blessed ...
Fortunately, the government has decided to do something to avoid such setbacks. Thanksto hrd minister Murli Manohar Joshi, the government will dig deep into our past to help uskeep pace with the future. Indian universities will now give degrees to graduates andpost-graduates in the ancient science of astrology. So goodbye, quacks. Hello,scientifically trained astrologers.
This has become possible only because we have a government that appreciates the valueof Hindutva. Computers and the Internet only help the world predict the weather, economyand suchlike. But what about politics and fate? This is where astrology will step in. Itwill make up for the deficiencies of the Internet.
No future scams in the stock exchange. Before Ketan Parekh can make his move, thefuture Indian Astrological Service (ias) will swing into action and preempt him. Imaginehow secure life will become.
No longer will we need spies and soldiers to brave the snow and sleet of Kargil tolearn about Pakistan's next attack. Instead, in the warmth of some banquet hall, ourraw man in Islamabad will sidle up to Gen Musharraf and casually ask, "Err... By theway, Excellency, what is your exact date of birth?"
The simple, dim-witted general will naturally blurt out the information. Presto! Ourman in Islamabad will flash the news to headquarters. Our astrologers will take care ofthe rest. After that, not only will our government control events in Kargil. It willcontrol events in Islamabad too.
Joshi deserves to be congratulated for his bold and visionary decision to put India onthe path of ancient information technology. He will go down in history as the architect ofIndia's 21st century past-in-the-future era. My astrologer assures me that Joshi willsucceed Vajpayee as the past leader of future bjp. But my neighbour's astrologer saysthat the bjp's future has moved into its past.
I refuse to believe him. Does he have a post-graduate degree in astrology?
Anyone who's bitten
By the birth-chart bug,
Becomes a helpless kitten
Before an astrologer thug!