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"Nobody has answered the key question. Should Richard Gere be hanged?"
The chairman of the discussion said, "I won’t waste time on needless formalities. We are not here to score debating points against each other. We are here to put our heads together and find a solution for countering threats to our national security. You all know what I am referring to. The whole nation was shell-shocked after Richard Gere planted two lethal busses on Shilpa Shetty in broad daylight. So who will open the discussion?"
The Congress leader cleared his throat. "Our party is as concerned about national security as the rest of you. But we advocate a balanced response. The UPA government has still not finalised its policy on creating Special Erogenous Zones (SEZs). Therefore, admittedly Gere’s bid was premature. But was it wrong?" The CPI(M) leader interjected: "The Left Front is awaiting the final draft of your SEZ policy before taking a decision. What we want to know is whether you will allow Foreign Direct Intervention (FDI) inSEZ areas?"
The JD(U) leader said, "And are you reserving any quotas in SEZ areas? We would like to know—for every 100 kisses that are planted, will 27 be reserved for OBCs?"
The BJP leader said, "I think we are all jumping the gun here. Our party questions the very principle of the government demarcating SEZ areas. We ask, why have any SEZ? For over 5,000 years our nation has thrived without SEZs. We have reached a billion plus population. Why introduce SEZ now? Did Lord Rama look for SEZs? Could Lord Krishna be stopped because there was no declared SEZs? Let us not be swayed by globalisation and lose out on our sanskriti!"
The Samajwadi Party leader said, "We reject outright the proposed SEZ policy. It is discriminatory and anti-minority. How will SEZs be set up under a veil?"
The Trinamool Congress leader retorted, "The minorities should be thankful! SEZ is a curse! It is blatant encroachment without adequate compensation! It reveals a fascist mindset!"
The chairman sighed. "Nobody has answered the key question. Should Richard Gere be hanged?"
(Puri can be reached at rajinderpuri2000@yahoo.com)