I
It must be conceded that gradually our government, aided by patience and history, is beginning to prevail over threats against the nation...
It hopes that Pakistan’s internal crisis will divert it from the obsession over Kashmir, thereby diluting the terrorist insurgency. It hopes that the halting steps by Bangladesh to reclaim democracy will similarly induce it to crack down on the terrorist camps on its soil. It hopes that China’s exponential leap in economy will alter its perceptions about South Asia and herald a new chapter of cooperation with India. It hopes that the clash between the CPI(M) and Maoists in Nandigram will eventually induce the Maoists to enter the electoral mainstream as they did in Nepal. It hopes that electoral considerations will gradually soften the rigid mindsets of communal outfits that are prone to foment violence.
But despite all such hopes, our rulers are haunted by a danger that dwarfs all these threats. North Block and South Block are spending sleepless nights. Neither the National Security Advisor (NSA), nor the Service chiefs, nor the intelligence agencies have come up with an effective strategy to fight the new menace.
According to unconfirmed reports last week, a hush-hush emergency meeting was held at the PM’s residence. All the top personnel concerned with national security were present. The PM asked the experts if an effective strategy to fight the menace had been devised. The nsa said, "Sir, I think we are making some headway in countering the stray dogs menace. But the monkey menace is more complex."
"And more dangerous," the home minister quickly added. "Stray dogs are less of a threat to VIPs than monkeys!"
"Are the stray dogs and monkeys colluding with each other?" the PM asked.
"We thought of that, Sir...but we found no evidence," the Intelligence Bureau chief said.
"Can’t we make the stray dogs fight the monkeys?" the home minister asked shrewdly.
"We tried that, Sir," the police chief said. "The dogs refused."
"Why not declare martial law, hunt them all down, and shoot them dead?" the army chief asked.
"What will the international community think," the PM said sharply. "We will be no better than Pakistan."
"That could also ignite a mass movement supporting monkeys led by Maneka Gandhi and the Bajrang Dal," the HM sighed.
The meeting ended inconclusively. Further deliberations on this threat will continue next Sunday.
(Puri can be reached at rajinderpuri2000@yahoo.com)