Age Cannot Stop Me From Doing Better In Life: Lillete Dubey

For Lillete Dubey, the stage remains her first love. In an interview with Lachmi Deb Roy, the 67-year-old actress-director says Indian television is extremely mediocre and fails to bring out the best in an actor. Excerpts

Source of inspiration…

As you get older, the inward wellbeing of how you are feeling inside and how you look at life is important. Your internal state of being starts reflecting on your face. For me, Wahida Rehman is such an inspiration. She has aged so gracefully. I will take her over Jane Fonda.

Never give up on her dreams…

I am at peace with myself, but at the same time I have not given up on my aspirations as an artiste. Again, I am realistic. No artiste should give up on aspiring to do a better film, a better painting or music, or to write a better book. Age cannot stop me from doing better in life.

The world of arts…

I was not from the world of performing arts. My father was an engineer; and a physicist by passion. But he took great interest in art, music and literature. I always had this niggling doubt about my own self-worth. When I was studying literature, I felt I am barely educated because everybody in my family was an engineer, scientist or doctor. My father didn’t say it aloud, but was disappointed that I didn’t take up science. He felt literature is a waste of time. He could quote Shakespeare better than I did. He always felt literature and arts were for leisure.

Film career in her mid-forties…

A woman starting a career in the movies at 46 is ridiculous because that is the time when women in the Hindi film industry are walking into the sunset. I don’t know any women who started out at this age. Till 40, I was doing a lot of theatre, which gives you the freedom to fill empty spaces because it is all about imagination. I can play a ten-year-old because the suspension of disbelief on stage is enormous.

I never really thought of joining films. I was blissfully happy doing theatre and bringing up my children. One of the small ironies is that when I was in my twenties, I got a few (movie) off­ers, but my father was aghast. Watching Hindi films was discouraged at home. But art is what nourishes our souls. I am at my happiest when I am working. For me everyday matters.

On leaving television…

The kind of work I was getting was uninspiring. I was making good money, but I wasn’t happy doing what I was doing. Rather, I was depressed. Honestly, Indian television is a very mediocre medium. It doesn’t bring out the best in you as an actor. It’s a quick copy-paste medium. I felt instead of honing my craft, I was blunting my craft. It was a medium of mediocrity and they are happy with so little that they don’t want to challenge or stretch themselves in any way. Now I don’t even watch television at all. Time is precious and you don’t waste it watching TV serials.

How films kicked on

I am an accidental movie actor. It so happened that I got it from friends that there is a role I am doing in Zubeida by Shyam Benegal. But Benegal didn’t tell me anything. I rang him up and he confirmed. I have never gone seeking a single role. Zubeida led to Gadar and one film after another. People know your work and if they want you to do something, they will get in touch with you. I love to work with first-time directors…passionate about their work. Infectious. I still remember when Onir came to me with My Brother Nikhil. But I never liked being typecast. After Zubeida, I was getting all aunty roles. I didn’t want to be another Aruna Irani. I know it is a limited arc, but I didn’t want to be trapped in a box.