India is the new Amreeka. Today’s bikini models are very happy-to-be-Indian. They dig a man with ‘Muh mein Rajnigandha, Kadmon pe duniya’. Twenty years ago, they were still very enamoured of the ‘phoren’ tag. Our advertising then was extremely ‘English medium’. Pepsi had been launched as a shiny, red-white-and-blue, all-American drink with the slightly condescending slug line, ‘Are you Ready for the Magic?’ The Maruti-1000 was being sold through a montage of slick, black-and-white images as ‘Mona Lisa’ played in the background. A few years later, Coke showed up and announced that India finally had access to the drink that was ‘Always the Real Thing’. Today, as India “claims its rightful place on the world’s stage”, MNCs are falling over each other to proclaim how desi they are. (I tell you, if one more MNC draws its logo in mehndi on the palms of an Indian bride, I will projectile-vomit!) In a bid to mine smaller and smaller towns, their ads end with almost interchangeable lines like ’India ki shaan’, ‘Designed for India’, ‘Understands India’, and ‘Dhak Dhak Go’. Coke is the national thanda, and everybody—homegrown or foreign—wants to be desh ka namak, cement, atta, AC, makkhan, toothpaste.