Mixed Shots

The Parrot Hunt

Policing is tough in UP—a choked-up home of more people than any country in Africa, Europe and South America. Anything can fly off the handle, anytime. Like Mitthu, the English-speaking, whistle-blowing, red-tailed grey African parrot that disappeared from Aligarh orthopaedic surgeon Dr S.C. Varshney’s home. He reported the missing parrot, distributed pamphlets with a photograph of the pet and announced a reward of Rs 5,000 for information. For their part, cops launched a search and rescue for the missing mimic. They can draw from their experience: previous rescue expeditions for the missing buffaloes of then minister M. Azam Khan in Rampur in 2014, the labrador of BJP leader Ram Shankar Katheria in Agra in 2016 and so on.

Murukku Diplomacy

Call it the cordon bleu of diplomatic coups when Indian diplomats served the crispy, crunchy millet murukku to the 193-­member UN General Assembly. The topic on the table was malnutrition and unhealthy diet, and the delegates did well to bite the biscuit—murukku in this case—and endorse unanimously India’s push for 2023 as International Year of Millets to promote healthy food grains. Our government has been grinding nutria-cereals like ragi, or nachani, or kezhvaragu, and bajra or kambam for some time. Remember 2018 was the National Year of Millets. But murukku—Tamil for twisted—gave the global twist. We suggest a meal of jowar upma, thinai biryani, foxtail millet khichdi, bajra tartlets with fruit custard. Wash it down with ragi malt or ambli.

Stage For Squats

Welcome the season of ­entertainment, simultaneous shows in five states booked for a month. The Great Indian Election Circus has pitched tent. The fire-spitting signature pieces are making the headlines, but the sideshows are no less enjoyable. Take Sushanta Pal, a ­Trinamool Congress turncoat, for instance. He joined the BJP, following his leader Suvendu Adhikari breaking ranks with Didi. And when he was handed a BJP flag at a rally, he stopped his speech midway and started doing squats to “atone for sins”—his fidelity to Trinamool. Political exercises do lead to squats and sit-ups. Even Tripura CM Biplab Kumar Deb did 45 push-ups on stage at an event a couple of years ago.

Minister’s Stepney

Public life is hard, and to be the younger sibling of a people’s representative is harder. Here’s how. Mukesh Sahani, a new minister in the Nitish Kumar government, sent younger brother Santosh Sahani in a government vehicle to represent him at an official function in Hajipur, Bihar. But Santosh the Stepney fumbled when asked to name the scheme of the event. Mukesh, the fisheries and animal husbandry minister, has since apologised for the “inadvertent mistake”. Embarrassing? Yes, but forgive this political tenderfoot. Mukesh was a Bollywood set designer before he founded the Vikassheel Insaan Party (VIP) three years ago to “represent” the Nishads or fisherfolk. He was with the RJD-Congress alliance and joined the NDA ahead of last year’s assembly elections, but lost from Simri Bakhtiyarpur. With the BJP’s backing, he was elected to the legislative council and enrolled in Nitish’s cabinet.

Unquotably Quotable

“Why do you come to me for such small things? MPs, MLAs, village mukhiyas, DMs, SDMs, BDOs... these are all under obligation to serve the people. If they do not listen to you, pick up a bamboo stick with both hands and give a crushing blow on their head. If even that does not work, then Giriraj shall throw his weight behind you.”

Giriraj Singh
Union minister for fisheries, animal husbandry and dairy farming, in Begusarai, his Lok Sabha ­constituency in Bihar

Brevis

Illustrations: Saahil, Text curated by Alka Gupta