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The Chaat Show

To spice up its war coverage for South Asia, CNN recently roped in maverick cricket commentator Navjot Singh Sidhu. Here he is on Larry King Live

Larry: Well, we've seen the fall of Kabul. Do you think that wraps up the war? Can Bush rest easy now?

Larry: But surely the allied campaign has been a success. First Mazar-e-Sharif, now Kabul...
Siddhu: True, the Taliban top order seem like bicycles in a cycle stand—one falls down and the complete row will be down. But don't write off bin Laden & Co. Afghanistan is a turning wicket and you could be in for some surprises. In cricket they say you cannot afford to relax. The same holds true for a war. It's an ill omen when a fox licks its lambs. There should be no let up—you have to keep pegging away till you have squashed the enemy.

Larry: What lessons should the US learn from this war in Afghanistan?
Siddhu: Don't bowl from wide of the crease. You have to get your planes closer to the ground. Many of the bombs have fallen from such a height that they could have brought down some air hostesses with them! Also, under windy conditions you cannot bowl way outside the leg stump. When you drop the bombs from a great height and it swings away from the target, then it is a wasted delivery. The point from which you deliver the bomb is vital. Remember, a good lather is half the shave.

Larry: Over a hundred sorties flown. Surely, one has to give some room for error...
Siddhu: Larry, statistics are like mini-skirts, they reveal less than what they hide.

Larry: This war has been a triumph of technology. (Visual of a stealth bomber in action.)
Siddhu: Great feathers make great birds. But that is not my idea of a bird. Mine would be 36-24-36!

Larry: How do you rate the US chances of nabbing Osama bin Laden?
Siddhu: Well, my friend, all I can say is that it is very difficult to kill a man who is completely hell-bent upon committing suicide.

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