Veera Osama

"Shri Osama has a preference for raisins and camel meat but no one questions Veerappan’s choice of menu," the official told mediapersons. "We are 100 per cent certain we have identified the man. We worked on two tribals who confessed to having seen a tall man with a long beard. The two can’t go wrong—they have been spotting Veerappan for us for decades now. So tell George not to beat around the bush. The hunt is over."

The STF hit the headlines for two consecutive days but a sensational videotape mailed to Jayalalitha made even bigger news. In it, Veerappan spelt out his demands in Tamil duly translated into Arabic by Osama for Al Jazeera exclusives. Bin Laden’s conditions for a surrender were rendered into Tamil by apna bandit for Jaya TV.

According to insiders, Veerappan picked up Arabic by listening to old Hindi film hits played on slow speed on a rundown tape recorder. Osama’s knowledge of Tamil came from his Malayali stenographer, who talked in his sleep.

So what were Veerappan and Osama’s key demands?

• An audience with Dr J. Jayalalitha, "the beacon of hope for people across the globe".
• Simultaneous installation of the Puratchi Thalaivi as the permanent chief minister of Tamil Nadu and a Taliban government in Afghanistan.
• A seat for the aiadmk on the UN Security Council.
• Osama demands the right to self-determination for Tamils worldwide.
• Veerappan condemns the US attacks on Afghanistan. He also calls for fresh presidential elections in the US.
• A million dollars each and safe passage to the White House after a friendly president is in place.

The demands repeatedly telecast by Al Jazeera and Jaya TV have had a dual impact. Veerappan is now a cult figure in Afghanistan and Osama a hero for the Tamils. Indeed, some Dravidian scholars with aiadmk leanings have begun work on a research paper titled "Osama’s Tamizh Roots".

As for the stf, its demand that the US carpet-bomb the MM Hills and then drop fresh venison and camel meat to lure Osama and the bandit out still remains a cry in the wilderness.