DON'T call it ladies' fingers. The che che's call it okra these days. Ditto for good old-fashioned spring onions.They go by the name of scallions now. And did we hear you say coriander? Infra dig, absolutely. The demi monde call it cilantro. Sherbets? What an antiquated term! Say sorbet, darling. And puhleese don't ask for a cookie: ask for a Dutch cookie instead. Not curd. Always ask for yoghurt. Decaffeinated coffee is about the only thing to have if you don't want to die of caffeine contamination. Hold forth knowledgeably on how Indian basil doesn't quite have the same fragrance as the Italian one. Dieters playing house-guests may delicately request a bit of apple cider vinegar in lieu of the lemon in the warm water with a dash of honey with which they MUST kick off their mornings. And only papaya or grapefruit are admissible fruits on the breakfast table. Blanch when they mention paranthas. The truly elevated only eat bran muffins for breakfast. Gently educate your ignoramus rich country cousin on the critical value of roughage in the system. Really want to KILL them all? Ask delicately, repeatedly, with expression of pained perplexity at their continued incomprehension pasted firmly on your face, for 'puri bread' on the dining table. And need we remind you that balsamic vinegar is about the only thing you should brook ingesting? Finally, how about looking at laukee and asking "....is that zucchini?" That would really do them in good and proper.