1. VVIP movements on the roads
2. Lamp lighting ceremonies followed by address from the Chief Guest
3. Remixes of songs that were perfect and definitely did not need the addition of a machine-made metronome beat and periodic "Oooh baby"-s in a gruff voice
4. Old friends who become salespeople for various pyramid marketing schemes and invite you to dinner just to sell some shampoo or kitchenware
5. Watching Miss World/Universe/ Ghatkopar/whatever cry as she gets the crown
6. Kamalahaasan going through yet another complex costume/figure/ role change in a futile bid to make histrionic history
7. Umpire Asoka De Silva, who seems to give Indian batsmen out wrongly more than batsmen from any other country
8. Opening your newspaper in the morning and finding full-page ads of obscure—and possibly fictitious—government programmes with pictures of smiling politicians being congratulated by themselves for being jolly good fellows
9. Ruby Bhatia as cricket analyst
10. Television commercials that want to make you believe that you can get a job/lover/spouse/untold riches/peer respect/identity/ whatever you lack, by changing your soap/shampoo/face cream/ talcum powder brand/shape of abdomen
11. Trying to get your child admitted to a school
12. Shabana Azmi and Nandita Das at yet another rally for "The Dam"/the blind/the deaf/the
disabled/empowering the tribals/ women/children/AIDS/education/ women politicians
13. Investing in the stockmarkets
14. Religious fundamentalists
15. Pseudo-secularists
16. Junk mail
17. Dial-up net connections
18. Watching Rahul Dravid keep wickets to spinners
19. Income tax
20. Putting together the Fun Issue of Outlook