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Two's Company

Madhu Kapparath's zoom-lens peek into the world of a gay couple projects a mixed view. Of unconventional practices and a surprising status quo. Text: Dhiraj Singh

Yatan and Jojo live in a pink house in Vasant Kunj, one of New Delhi's many melting pots of the new, improving middle class. The inside of their three-bedroom flat is obsessively house-kept. The floor squeaks, the upholstery rustles and the regulation kinks of neo-Punjabi architecture are tastefully disguised. Not a thing moves here unless so wished by at least one of the occupants. "I think I suffer from ocd (obsessive compulsive disorder)," says Yatan of his very manifest "cleanliness neurosis". But for all intents and purposes the neurosis has been a blessing. It's also one of the many things that the boyfriends share. They own and run a two-man style and image consultancy outfit; Jojo, the older man, heads the make-up division and Yatan takes care of the more organisational operations. Then there's a life, parents, friends, flats in Mumbai and Delhi and the custody of two thoroughly-spoilt dogs, the larger of which is a boxer who favours Jojo's lap to most other squat-worthy surfaces. It's an arrangement that has seen eight summers and seems set to go far. At least, as far as the mind can foresee.

It's also a bit like two grown-up men playing house. Only they've been at it for close to a decade. Without, of course, the sapping strains of Mars-Venus politics or the vitiating side-effects of "clashing egos, role-playing, power games and gendered insecurities" of a man-woman relationship. Or the self-absorption of heterosexuals. "How many husbands give thought to whether their wife has had an orgasm, or for that matter how many women like to have oral sex with their husbands? We share greater equality that way," says Yatan. The equality also engenders greater understanding. "Yes, I do look at other men and often find them cute too, but it never becomes an issue with either of us. We just sit together and giggle about our discoveries," says Jojo.

Delhi has surprisingly been good to them. No one's been really nasty or outrightly blunt about their decidedly outed lifestyle. Yatan's summing up of his native place is flattering. "Delhi is a lot more tolerant than what most of us believe it to be." However, Jojo is more vehement. "I think Delhi is so debauched and in-the-closet that no one really has the morals to point fingers at us." But then no one DOES point fingers at them. Even as they take Lola (the smaller, Tibetan spaniel) and Mars (the boxer) for a weekly walk in a thickly-forested Ridge area they have curiously named after a flower. It's actually a sprawling swathe of the typical Delhi monument-jogging track-jungle combine. It's also a place that provides solitude and respite from "sweaty aunties in track pants". Also perhaps from their comments about Jojo's and Yatan's neatly plucked eyebrows, their unself-conscious camp behaviour and the trails of sweet bottle scent that they leave in their wake.

But appearances are for novices. Those who've done that and been around don't need such ploys. "We're through the sleeping around bit," they say. Besides, sexuality is just a small part of their co-existence. Ultimately, their love life isn't really breaking news. It's about as unique as traditional nautanki where men impersonated women. But the obvious isn't always apparent to everyone. Some well-wishers still want to know when they plan to 'settle down', others serve them a grudging approval, still others just keep their distance. As for friends—an eclectic and well-chosen inner circle—they're another cuppa iced-tea. "Surprisingly, our biggest support have been our hetero friends," says Jojo. The response from the gay community has varied from indifference to ridicule. It may be because of the fact that happy families are not the norm among people of non-heterosexual orientation. Or maybe the gay community has a bigger public agenda.

The 'fashion work' is something they both enjoy doing. But that's mainly because it doesn't seem so much like work. It's a breeze. And it comes with considerable lucre and glamour though now they just prefer the former. Jojo paints beautiful faces while Yatan helps them photograph better. It's tough to explain such an unconventionally male enterprise to most people, so Yatan takes help from the film industry. "I tell them we are to fashion photography what a director is to movie." That usually does the trick.

Besides, work also provides a safe bubble. A bubble where everyone knows and understands or at least pretends to know and understand. More because sexuality in these rarefied circles is something you wear to a party. Louder the better. It's also an industry where the casting couch has come to mean exploitation for struggling male beauties. But it's a space that has recently begun to tire them. "We don't hang out with the fashion crowd too much. We're more homebound now," says Yatan as Jojo nods in agreement. The retirement may be early but it's well-intended and timed, now that they have found each other. 'Settled down' in accordance with the polite Inglish cliche. But there are no rings to sport or wedding photographs to show off. Because this is as close it gets to living together in a country where homosexuality is outlawed. Does it ever bother them that one day all this may fall apart, especially because they have no legal rights as a couple? "Trust," says Yatan suddenly turning serious, "is what this is all about." Hope it's trust that's kept as well as the pink house they're so busy sharing right now.

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