“Ther r more chances of me having had an affair with d Pope dan any of d (Im sure wonderful) women d media hs ben naming. Thanks but no thanks.”
While Farhan seemed to prefer a one-time alimony, Adhuna is keen to retain the family house which she says she has equally contributed to.
“We have mutually and amicably decided to separate. Our children remain our priority and it is important to us that they be protected from public.”
“We are not separated because of a friendship between a businessman and Malaika. Nor was it about my family disapproving of her lifestyle.”
“People claiming to be our friends have maligned us for long and we have kept quiet. The truth is, we have taken a break, and it is a personal matter.”
“Yes, many lame rumours are doing rounds. I don’t know why exes do silly things to get your attention. For me that chapter is over and I don’t dig graves.”
In retort to claims of having used the children for his money, Karishma said she will tell the court that he is causing great harm to the children’s welfare.
Sunjay’s divorce petition claimed Karishma married him on the rebound, for his money. It said that she had failed to be a wife and daughter-in-law.
No advice needed for “mature, “sensible” Ranbir, says sis Kareena—reminder, his last two relationships ended because of his “commitment issues”.
“Break-up! Who said I broke up? I never said I broke up with anyone. I never even mentioned that I was in a relationship with someone?”
***
Despite the position gossip holds in the hierarchy of reporting (“great minds discuss ideas, small minds discuss people” etc), there is a redeeming factor in the churning out of gossip items as a journalistic practice. It’s a means for people to bond (“we get endorphins from it and use it as a vital tool in understanding each other and establishing connections,” wrote Robin Dunbar in Grooming Gossip and the Evolution of Language). The content of the gossip sections, as well as the media’s relaying of the gossip, and the public’s reaction to it, capture a culture’s attitudes and mores and at a given time.
We know, for instance, from having flipped through gossip magazines in the ’80s in India that “thunder thighs” for Sridevi (and those of her genre) was perfectly acceptable usage, a term that would get into trouble and call for prompt trolling of a publication in a more gender-aware world today.
In the 1990s, Lady Di’s masterful and near-mutinous use of the tabloids to get her story across past palace intrigue revealed a stubborn and dysfunctional royal family unwilling to move with the times, and Diana was able to shape public opinion to actually shake the foundation of a monarchy that finally had to respond and make efforts at amends for damage control. So perhaps it’s worth looking at the blitz of gossip that’s so juicy that it overflows into mainstream news these days and what exactly it’s trying to tell us.
Rumble Farhan and Adhuna went quietly (Photo by Fotocorp, From Outlook Issue 11 April 2016)
For one, it seems Bollywood is having a collective something-year itch. Couples Farhan and Adhuna Akhtar (married 16 years), Arbaaz Khan and Malaika Arora (17 years), Sunjay and Karishma Kapoo(u)r—11 years—are splitting, or in some stage of splitting, and it’s not looking pretty. Then, there’s the crazy story of the Hrithik Roshan-Kangana Ranaut battle out of the blue which is so bitter, sustained and public it’s even managing to shock long-time Bollywood insiders.
Gossip for all its worth is not an exact science, but the questions that fly about thick and fast tell their own story. Was the Arbaaz-Malaika joint statement drafted by Arbaaz without consulting Malaika? Is Hrithik such a jerk that he will go to such lengths to deny his relationship that he’d pull out all the stops to prove an ex a crazy stalker? Was a Bollywood co-star—or a few—behind Farhan’s split with Adhuna?
While “joint statements” issued with the aplomb of a foreign policy declaration is the order of the day for some, for others, it’s ugly court cases. A report states that among the reasons Sunjay Kapur gives in his divorce petition is that “the respondent [Karishma] has failed not only as a wife and daughter-in-law, but also as a mother”, and it does make one wonder what duties are there exactly that daughters-in-law have to perform—like maybe making an early morning cup of tea for the in-laws—in the mansion of the Sona Steering scion? He also accuses her for marrying him for “money”, and on the “rebound”, and it must be said she has not yet accused him of marrying her for her looks, which would have been an equal comeback in terms of ridiculousness and banality. Instead, in her plea she states that Sunjay asked his mother to slap her because she could not fit into a dress when she was pregnant (can anyone really make such stuff up?), and that mummy supported his “philandering ways”. Reports say she has filed a case on the family for harassment.
Gone Girl Arbaaz and Malaika in happier times (Photograph by Fotocorp, From Outlook Issue 11 April 2016)
While it may be difficult to verify who is right, Sunjay comes across worse, even going by his own petition: the accusations are arrogant and sound slightly clownish and detached from reality in the way entitled rich boys of Delhi often are, shaming a woman for her ex and going on about his money to show people down.
As for the Kangana-Hrithik “spat” (for want of a better word to define the ongoing hate exchange in public domain), it’s pretty clear she started it, calling him a “silly ex” in an interview, thereby “outing” their relationship, which enraged him enough to send her a legal notice to withdraw the comment. Instead, she sent him a lawsuit charging him with covering up a relationship. Public opinion, though, seems to be on her side.
Queen Kangana responded with frosty dignity and a notice. Photograph by Fotocorp, From Outlook Issue 11 April 2016)
While in the James Hewitt-Diana case where the cavalry officer wrote a book about their liaison it was clear the public decided gentlemen don’t kiss and tell, in Queen vs Krrish it seems to be that gentlemen own up to relationships beyond a point, instead of calling an ex crazy (the reference to Asperger’s Syndrome to wrongly suggest she was “hallucinating” has only made him sound like an idiot as well as an entitled bully).
In all this, the odd one out in a list of nasty break-ups are Anushka Sharma and Virat Kohli, who seem to have spilt amicably. Though their split was reportedly an outcome of her not having time for him owing to a hot photoshoot for a magazine among other things (sexist of Kohli if true, sexist on part of the media if false), he tweeted “shame on people for trolling Anushka Sharma non stop”. While this suggests decency, Anushka on her part is no wallflower either and has in the past shown to stand up for herself. She has taken a feminist stand on (unaddressed) things like equal pay in Bollywood. After an outspoken interview of her got tweeted under the headline “ballsy” by huffpostindia, she had a quick and smart comeback with the tweet “It’s ironic you use the word ‘ballsy’ @HuffPostIndia”.
Ice Castle Once-a-(Kapoor) couple Sunjay and Karishma (Photograph by Fotocorp, From Outlook Issue 11 April 2016)
It was no doubt gentlemanly of Kohli to stand up for her to his trolls, but again, the reactions to the tweet are telling. Even though Kohli said he did not want respect for his tweet but compassion for Anushka, people went ballistic hailing “the hero” of Indian cricket, as if Anushka along with the rest of womankind were a damsel in need of rescuing by a knight in shining armour who looks and bats like Kohli, and the main takeaway became Virat’s heroism instead of a focus on the demented trolling of Anushka illogically linked to his performance on the field. The reactions suggest an endemic patriarchy and lack of education, where the stereotypes of “hero” and “damsel in distress” are adored. As for the Anushka-Kohli relationship itself, some reports now suggest they may not have split but may have been only on a break, and are now back together again.
Sibling Too Ranbir and Katrina (film still)
If that’s true, there’s at least still the possibility of a happily ever after somewhere in the future of gossip columns out there...
