Caste The First Stone

Adding fuel to fire, newspapers in Goa reported that a Christian Saraswat Union had been formed and I, tarnished white knight on a wobbly charger, had been elected first president. No one had bothered to tell me. Carrollian confusion prevails. Lofty Brahmin or lowly Christian? Or should the adjectives be transposed? Damned if you do; damned if you don't. Swift emigration seems the only answer but, given my dubious antecedents, who will have me?