The world watched Bill Clinton squirm through four hours ofrelentless grilling on the subject of private sex. Now the world debates whether Clintonshould go or stay. Of course Clinton should go. But not for the reasons most people wanthim to. Because he lied to escape exposure, Clinton proved he was a security risk.Consider what could have happened. "Hello, this is Bill Clinton speaking."
"Hello Mr President! This is Jiang Zemin from China!
Mr President, you know how well our trade ties are developing. Unfortunately mycolleagues resent your stand on our human rights record. They want you to give China themost favoured nation status. They want you to override your stupid Pentagon and give usmissile technology we badly need!"
"I can't do that, Mr Jiang. I made certainpledges to the American people on China when I defeated George Bush!" "Er.. MrPresident... ahem... there is another little matter. My colleagues have some conclusiveevidence about a young lady named Monica Lewinsky..."
"Let's not discuss these matters over the phone Mr Jiang! Why don't we meetin Beijing to sort this out...?"
"Hello, brother! This is Yasser Arafat!"
"Oh, how are you Mr Arafat?"
"Mr President, these terrible Israelis continue to torture us! Unless there isan independent Palestine state, the peace process has no future! You must immediatelysupport a sovereign Palestine, Mr President!"
"But you know I can't make such a drastic shift without the support of Congress,Mr Arafat!"
"That is a great pity, Mr President! Oh, by the way, there is a funny audiocassette making the rounds with a conversation between some Linda Tripp and a woman calledLewinsky..."
"Excuse me, Mr Arafat, but I am in an awful hurry! Listen, I'll discuss yourproblem with Hillary! Congress can't complain if she demands an independent Palestinestate, can it...?"
"President Clinton? This is Netanyahu speaking."
"Hello, Mr Netanyahu!"
"I'll come to the point, Mr President! We want you to endorse our stand onbuilding the Jewish settlements. By the way, Monica Lewinsky is related to us..."
You see what could have happened? Thank God it didn't. Tripp and Lewinsky weretoo discreet. And the Chinese, the Palestinians and the Israelis are too gentlemanly.Right?
Once you make your karma, Bill,
If you break your dharma, Bill,
We know it ain't so nice, Bill,
You hafta pay the price, Bill!
