Last week Delhi police warned dog owners to keep their petson leash when in public or to face jail up to six months. The days of the jolly littleterrier rollicking about are passe. These days rich folk keep dogs for security. In parksthere are mostly Dobermans, Alsatians and Bull terriers silently staring like ClintEastwood at all passers-by. These dogs definitely do need to be kept on leash.
VIPs don't need dogs. They keep BlackCats. Unfortunately, the police never ask VIPs to keep Black Cats on leash. That'swhy citizens have to nimbly dodge these wild, snarling, ferocious beasts as they escorttheir masters through the city.
It never fails to amaze that we actually pay for the upkeepof these beasts to terrify us while they ostensibly guard their masters and mistresses. Itwas refreshing to learn therefore that some VIPs too are terrified of their own BlackCats.
Last week Mayawati wrote to the president that she feareddeath at the hands of her security guards. She wrote that her Dalit guards had beenreplaced by upper caste personnel. She said that hundreds of workers belonging to anotherparty posed a danger to her as they thronged her neighbourhood in which BJP leaders lived.
Ah, at least one mystery is solved. Now we know from whomthese VIPs need protection. They need it from each other. Citizens must pay for wholearmies of security guards to protect VIPs as they go about their business of shouting andscuffling in Parliament.
Alas, things might change. The Home Ministry is reviewingthe policy of providing security to VIPs. North Block has already shortlisted the firstforty who will lose their security. The new policy is a bitter blow to aspiring VIPswaiting to get security. Their dreams of having Black Cats are shattered. Now they willhave to make do with dogs. Some of them have already come to terms with reality. They canbe seen in parks walking along with their unleashed canine guards.
The other day one such aspiring VIP enteredLodhi Garden with his unleashed Alsatian. An old gentleman politely asked, "Where areyou taking that donkey, sir?"
"Are you blind?" the VIP snapped. "That's a dog, not a donkey!"
"Excuse me," the old gentleman said coldly. "I wasn't talking to you,I was addressing the dog!"
Even the Alsatian laughed.
It's really quite funny
That we spend money
On dogs and cats
To safeguard rats!
