Bull's Eye

Dear Prime Minister,
With bated breath the country awaits your dtc bus trip to Lahore. Jaswant Singh must have proffered you copious advice about how to make the historic mission a success. Throw that advice in the trash can. Jaswant Singh is ignorant about the situation you will confront.
As one having intimate knowledge of ground realities, allow me to offer you a few tips on how to make your trip a success. When you board the bus choose your seat with great care. Otherwise during the journey a female will approach you menacingly. Compared to her Jayalalitha and Mamata will look like angels of mercy.
She will glare at you and hiss,  "You're sitting on a ladies' seat"! You will blush, apologise, and go standing all the way to Lahore.
That will not only put your legs to sleep but your mind as well. You will become child's play for Pakistani negotiators.
Be sure that you have the exact amount for the ticket when the bus conductor approaches you. Otherwise he will take your money, give you the ticket, and say that he will return the balance later. That balance may or may not be returned. By the time you reach Lahore you will be a nervous wreck. Thanks to the conductor you might have to borrow money from Nawaz Sharif at Lahore. That will allow him to talk to you from a position of strength.
Judging by the distance to be covered the chances are overwhelming that during the journey the dtc bus will either ram into a car or run over pedestrians. If that happens the bus driver and conductor will run away. Do not stay in the bus. Melt into the curious crowd that will gather and escape.
Otherwise the police will interrogate you. By the time they are through you will be in the next millennium. Nawaz will have given up waiting for you and gone home.
Nawaz will accompany you on the return journey. Mutter an excuse about buying cigarettes or paan just before the bus starts and disembark. Hide behind a tree until the bus goes away. Ignore all his frantic shouts. Let Nawaz travel all the way from Lahore to Delhi on a dtc bus. You return by plane to Delhi. You will be fresh. Nawaz will be dazed by the dtc bus lag. You will be able to twist his arm any way you want.