The prime minister first proposed a national debate on the constitution. Next, a debateon religious conversions. Now, people want a national debate on the defence services. Willa national debate achieve anything? I think this is how a national debate would proceed...
Welcome to the Star-struck News Channel. In our nation -wide programmetonight we bring you live coverage on the Great National Debate. Our panel of experts willassess devel -opments in each centre. First to Chennai. "Jennifer, how is thenational debate progressing in Chennai?"
"It is rapidly warming up, Prannoy. This afternoon Jayalalit -ha'steam thrashed the DMK team. Three DMK debaters are hos -pitalised. Only one AIADMK memberreceived minor injuries. Observers feel a direct debate between Jayalalitha and Karuna-nidhi is unavoidable. Over to you, Prannoy." "Thank you, Jennifer. Now for ourexpert assessment. Shekhar, what are the prospects in Chennai?" "Jayalalitha isthe clear favourite, Prannoy. Age and failing eyesight go against Karunanidhi. Also, ifshe puts her full weight behind it, Jayalalitha could punch harder than Holyfield."
"Thank you, Shekhar. Now to Calcutta. Monideepa, what's thelatest?" "The BJP is under heavy attack, Prannoy. Jyoti Basu has called itbarbaric and lunatic. In Patna Rabri Devi says she will break the legs of her BJPopponents. From the BJP, J.P. Mathur describes Basu as mentally unbalanced!"
"Thank you, Monideepa. Chandan, how do you assess the debate in theeast?" "It's very complex. A barbaric BJP can be vicious but a crazy CPM isunpredictable. If Rabri breaks legs, it will cripple BJP mobility. We'll have to waitand watch."
"Thank you, Chandan. Now to Mumbai. Maya, what's the latestthere?" "The debate is heating up, Prannoy! Sharad Pa -war has called BalThackeray an Alsatian dog. Bal Thackeray has called Pawar a pariah dog! Back to you,Prannoy!"
"Thank you, Maya. Dilip, what's your expert view of Mum-bai?" "I think Pawar has the edge, Prannoy. Demographic studies in the dogworld indicate that pariahs are backward and Alsatians forward. Clearly the majority willback Pawar!"
"Thank you, Dilip. Rajdeep, anything new in Delhi?" "No,Prannoy. Again everyone staged a walkout from the debating hall!" "Thank you,Rajdeep. Well, folks, that's all for tonight. Tomorrow Vikram will present aninvestigative report which will try to uncover the subject of the national debate..."
I have a hunch
That my punch
Is better heard
Than my word!
