These days it's very difficult being a parent. Children have become impossible. Afew months ago I found my son coming home at four in the morning. I confronted him atbreakfast. "Son, you returned at 4 am after last night's party?"
"What's so strange about that, Daddy?" he said. "Every night Ireturn at four!"
"How was I to know, son? Ever since I ceased being minister your mummy and Ireturn from parties only at five in the morning. But last night we came early at three.That's how I found out."
"Parties liven up only after midnight, Daddy. That's when the drink startsflowing!"
"Be sure you drink only imported whiskey, son. After fast- ing during karwa chauthyour mummy made the mistake of drinking Indian whiskey. You remember how sick she feltafter that!"
"Don't worry, Daddy, I always stick to Royal Salute or Johnny Walker!"
On another occasion I learnt that in a restaurant my son fired his pistol in the air. Ipulled him up again. "Son, thanks to my contacts I managed to get that Webley Scottfor five thousand rupees! That gun is worth at least two lakh. I want you to handle itwith great care. Always make sure it is pointing towards the sky when you pull thetrigger!"
"I always make sure of that, Daddy!"
Last week I noticed that the fender of the Alfa Romeo he uses was badly damaged."What happened to the car, son?"
"While coming back home last night I hit either a cyclist or a rickshaw, Daddy. Ididn't wait to find out. I was feeling so sleepy!"
That was when I lost my temper. "You should be ashamed of yourself, son. Is thatthe way to drive? Do you know how difficult it is to get a new fender for this car? Itprobably isn't even available here. I'll have to import it from Europe!"
When I read the newspaper this morning I learnt that my son was missing after shootinghis party host dead. They probably had an argument. I spent an entire exhausting daytrying to arrange for his anticipatory bail and to hire the best possible lawyers for him.
However, please don't think that I am complaining.
After all, as a parent I know that I must discharge my responsibilities .
Life can be quite rummy
For daddy and mummy,
When sonny has a fling
While daddy's doing his thing!
