Maharaja Solo Flyer Club
Ladies and gentlemen…Ooops! Gentleman, this is your captain speaking. It’s 3.45 am, June 23, 2021, and the weather in Amritsar is perfect for flying. Welcome on board Air India’s flight to Dubai, Mr S.P. Singh Oberoi. We are delighted to upgrade you from economy class to our Covid special single-flyer programme fit for a Maharaja and exclusive to this route. You have our national carrier’s entire jumbo jet to yourself for the next three hours. But be warned that untenanted seats and a lifeless cabin notoriously trigger abnormal panic attacks similar to being thrust alone into empty spaces. Don’t freak out, our crew will rush to your assistance. You can take selfies with them, or pace up and down the aisle as many times you want, so long as the seat belt sign is off. If you are a sucker for solitude, sit back and relax. You are our second solo aviator in weeks, after Oswald Rodrigues flew from Mumbai to Dubai in May. You are No. 3 overall. Our competitor, Emirates, flew a 40-year-old Mumbai-Dubai solo on May 19. Ding.
Over the moon
Some news shines like moonlight, giving hope in desperate, tumultuous times—such as Chandini Majhi of Odisha’s Kalahandi clearing her class 10 state board examination. Our collective amnesia may refuse to recall that name. She’s the young girl who walked alongside her father Dana Majhi of Melaghar village when he carried on his shoulder the corpse of his wife—mother of Chandini and her two sisters—wrapped in a bundle of bed sheets for 10 km after being denied a hearse by the government hospital where she died in 2016. Chandini and her siblings are students of a tribal school run by the Bhubaneswar-based Kalinga Institute of Social Sciences, which took them in after that heartbreaking walk.
High Expectations, EH?
When it comes to viral memes, it’s hard to beat cricketer Virender Sehwag’s post as he hefts his unhappiness to hilarious effect over India’s loss to New Zealand in the World Test Championship (WTC) final this June. The former swashbuckler posted an image from the popular web series Mirzapur, in which don Kaleen Bhaiya gives an earful to Sharad Shukla: “Aapse better umeed kiye the hum (I had better expectations from you).”
Are You A Minimum Guy?
They are trying grocery giveaways and lotteries for new cars and household appliances—acts of desperation by authorities in their pursuit to per-suade the reluctant and the hesitant to take Covid shots. And therewithal the relen-tless audio-visual appeals. In Odisha, the health department has thrown into the pitch Srikant Tiwari and his Chellam sir from The Family Man to convince anti-vaxxers. Here’s one meme: “When it comes to your protection from Covid infection, ‘don’t be a minimum guy’.” And another take from the runaway hit web series: “Chellam sir, I wear facemask and sanitise my hands frequently. Do I need to get Covid vaccine?” “Yes Srikant. Take both doses…” responds Chellam, a retired spy played by Udayabhanu Maheshwaran.
The Clerk Strikes Again
Mischief or mistake—some Bihar clerks are carrying their movie hobby to their day job and using their office computers to surf the internet for images of film stars. Or else, what explains Malayalam actress Anupama Parameshwaran’s photo—not once, but twice—on documents issued to a man taking a test for a government schoolteacher’s job? And that after the aspirant in Jehanabad filled in the authorities on the first instance the actress appeared on his admit card. It looks like there are repeat offenders on the loose—Sunny Leonne was top scorer two years ago on a list of new junior engineers, with 98.5 per cent marks; and then, she was mother and actor Emran Hashmi was father on a pre-graduation certificate issued by Baba Saheb Bhim Rao Ambedkar University, Muzaffarpur. The address mentioned was Chaturbhuj Sthan, Muzaffarpur’s red light area.
Brevis
Illustrations: Saahil, Text curated by Alka Gupta
