Moo Science
Cow chips couldn’t have a-moo-sed scientists more! Here’s how—Vallabhbhai Kathiria, chairman of the Rashtriya Kamdhenu Aayog, said recently that keeping cow dung cake at home reduces harmful radiation. And there’s a dung ‘chip’ that can be placed on a cellphone to cut radiation from the device. Sounds as awkward as a cow on roller skates, but since so much is going around Bos Indicus lately, a question springs up: Is he inflating a cow? Curious scientists—more than 600—have written to Kathiria seeking answers for such unremarkable things: where and when were experiments conducted? Who were the investigators? Where were the findings published?
Holding On, No. 9
Those tin and rotund post boxes are like junk mail in this digital age. Sadly. And like all old relics of the past, they have almost disappeared—physically and from our mind. There’s one, though, that’s holding fort: Post Box No. 9, Kerala’s oldest post box in Munnar, the outdoorsy, touristy rolling hills where the British grew tea, coffee and rubber. The mailbox at Kanan Devan Hills Plantation Co was installed in 1920 and it was pre-email era equivalent of an “outbox” that let estate workers and officers communicate with the world outside. It is celebrating its centenary.
Yaba-daba-Perdue!
There’s something about the US Republicans that the donkey gets their tongue, sometimes their own elephant too. Here’s an example: Georgia senator David Perdue called Kamala Harris, the veep candidate of the Democrats, “Kah-mah-la or Kah-ma-la or Kamala-mala-mala, I don’t know, whatever.” As he spoke, at a Donald Trump reelection rally, the audience whooped, but the racist remark received some ringing whops outside—“a desperate dog whistle from a losing politician” was one. Pardon him, for Perdue means a soldier sent on a death mission in French. Mispronunciation is from the Trump playbook—recent instance is his please-India speech at Motera in February. The Vestas for the Vedas, Swami Viveka-mu-nand for you-know-who, chiwala for chaiwala (you know who, again), Soo-chin Tendul-kerr, Virot Kohl-ee…We say, covfefe!
Plain and Simple
Doctor’s handwriting (those like crow’s feet on paper), or court jargon (like “its sinew suffering partial dissipation from an imminent display occurring in the impugned pronouncement hereat wherewithin unravelments are held qua the rendition recorded…”). If there’s a poll on what is more difficult to understand, it will be a close call between the two. And so, the Supreme Court has asked the Centre and the Bar Council of India to respond to a plea for handbooks on laws in “plain” English and usage of plain language in drafting government rules. In plain-speak, cut the circumlocution please.
On The Cards, Deepika
A t first glance, there’s shock. The Covided economy can’t be so bad that Bollywood stars are enrolling in menial MGNREGA jobs. Second off, this must be a cheeky clerk trying to spice up his dreary, daily toil—putting images of Deepika Padukone and Jacqueline Fernandes on MGNREGA cards of labourers in Khargone district of Madhya Pradesh. Third, this must be a scam to steal money from a government scheme and thereby hangs a tale. There are more than 10 such cards issued in the name of poor people, reports say, and thousands of rupees have been allegedly withdrawn in favour of these accounts. Some are men, with Deepika smiling from their cards. An inquiry, like always, is on.
Brevis
Illustrations: Saahil, Text curated by Alka Gupta
