THE new parental ground rules say 'Thou Shalt Not Hit Children'. But it isn't working in reverse. Disturbingly, say the experts, adolescent angst and teenage trauma are finding vent in physical assault on the parent, mostly the mother.
'This is the latest trend, if you can call it that,' confirms Raj Dagur, head of the crisis intervention centre at Delhi-based counselling service Sanjeevini. From 12 to 18, angry children are lashing out at their parents with verbal and physical abuse.
Neuropsychiatrist Dr Avadesh Sharma says the number of battered parents is going up. 'The problem lies in giving in so easily to all the child's demands. 'Sharing' a drink, 'understanding' that they must be out with friends every evening, 'lending' the car...then it breaks down. By that time, the child has forgotten control. And might use physical violence to get his or her way.'
Dagur sees the phenomenon as a fallout of current parental confusion between the issues of sensitivity and restraint. 'People have stopped trusting their parenting instincts. If something tells you that a slight rap on the knuckles, a session of shouting will help, don't stop. Don't unlearn instincts. If what you are learning in its place was good then only good should have grown out of it.'
