People And Places

All For Amma

Sycophancy hits dizzying heights in Tamil Nadu every year on February 24. Because48 years ago, on this day, was born Jayalalitha Jayaram or Puratchi Thalaivi(revolutionary leader). But nobody was prepared for the orgy of sycophancy that markedJaya’s birthday this year. Minister T.M. Selvaganapathy, who prides himself on hisjnu degree, released ads in local papers describing the chief minister as "anotherJesus...another Krishna...and a spiritual descendant of Prophet Mohammed." Twoothers, C.P. Pattabhiraman and Ammamuthu Pillai, ate rice served on the ground, and theircabinet colleague E. Madhusoodan rolled on the ground outside a Madras temple. AndSakkubai, the mla from Gummidipoondi, went in a procession with other women supportersdressed only in neem leaves.... (All For You, Amma,March 13, 1996)

The Villain Of 1997

Take a look at Exhibit 1. It is a moment of rare quality. Three men have reducedthemselves to a classic abjectness in the face of the formidable Mrs Gandhi. One inparticular shines through, the man in dark glasses, with the Gandhi topi. He has hit thecritical mass of sycophancy: one jot more and he is in danger of dissolving into a puddleof slime. Now assess Exhibit 2. More than a decade-and-a-half has passed. But with thestamina and resolve of the finest long distance runner, the man—topi still inplace—has saved up enough sycophantic energy for a strong kick down the last stretch.His head is at Narasimha Rao’s knees, and Rao is holding on to his hands to keep himfrom plummeting to the ground. In glorious servility, in a total surrender of theself...." (Tarun J. Tejpal on Sitaram Kesri, (January 5, 1998))

Keepers Of The Flame

Oh, think upon the pleasures of this grey-green palace, the India InternationalCentre (IIC)! India Inc swirls around it. Conspicuously consuming constituents rush by intheir Cielos with FM sets blaring. Coca-Cola culture beams down from passing satellites.But up the flower-lined drive of the Centre come the Fiats and Ambassadors of old India,and out step respectable right-thinking citizens of the Republic. The Preamble of theConstitution is still their religion and their memories go back to speeches made atmidnight. Clad in starched white trousers or safari suits, with pens in their frontpockets, they’re the keepers of the Nehruvian flame, the writers of articles entitled‘The Need of the Hour’, with bio-datas (not CVs) detailing professional lives inthe public sector or the foreign policy establishment... (Sagarika Ghose; Power,Pretension and Lemon Tarts, May 7, 1997)

Sen And Non-Sen

Dear Dr Amartya Sen, Right in the beginning, let me assure you that I am as proudof your Nobel honour as any other Indian, maybe even any other Bengali.... You should havewon the Nobel 20 years ago, right after you published your Collective Choice and SocialWelfare. Sadly, by the time you did, you had spent 15 years saying nothing new.And whenyou got it, you willingly made yourself a leading light of a vapidmorality-statement-driven politically-correct establishment. Your triumphant tour of Indiaonly confirmed this. Sir, no one disagrees with what you have been relentlessly saying,that education and healthcare are crucial to development. No one would argue about that.Now can we go beyond that a bit, take one step down from morality to reality? But there,Sir, you are superbly vague.... (Sandipan Deb on Amartya Sen, January 18, 1999)

Creepy Crawlies

Times were when pools were water bodies rather than watering holes. Places youwent to exercise, not exhibit. No longer. Pools are more like social cesspools today.Obscene places of confluence where yahoos and yokels, of all persuasions, compositions,complexions congregate to live through their five-star fantasies of The Good Life.Fantasies they saw their childhood idols enact in Bollywood celluloid sagas. How theyached then to be That-Bond-In-The-Blue-Waters, to nibble at the hors d’oeuvre, sip atcanned beer, speak into the sleek cordless, swim next to the hour-glass figurewali withthe bluer-than-blue-water contact lenses. They’re no longer yearning. They’reliving it through now.... (Sunil Mehra and ArchanaJahagirdar, Creatures that Crawl, July13, 1998)

Mr Prime Minister

Honourable Sir, It was being a most pleasant surprise, sir, the other day,watching television interview and you are saying you are ‘helpless’ to controlcorruption. For the first time, sir, a prime minister is coming out and saying the truth.We are appreciating very much. Now I am knowing what to do. Last Tuesday, I tookautorickshaw to go for duty and the meter showed Rs 30, when I am knowing that it is onlyRs 18 from the street corner near smuggled goods shop to my office, so I said wicked man,you have done dishonesty with meter. So he is telling me why you shout at me, I am veryshort man, big men are doing so much bigger things, like people are saying about NarsinghRao and Laloo Yadav. I gave him Rs 18 only, but I was feeling sadly.... (GautamChikermane, We, the Wretched, 13 August 1997)