I take great pleasure in informing you that the WC is situated nine miles from the house in the centre of a beautiful grove of pine trees surrounded by lovely grounds. It has a seating capacity of 220 people and is open on Sundays and Thursdays only. As there are a number of people expected for the summer, I would suggest that you come early although there is plenty of standing place available. I would especially recommend your ladyship to go on Thursdays when there is organ accompaniment. It may interest you to know that my daughter first met her future husband in the WC and was also married there. I can still remember the rush for seats that day. There were ten people for every seat normally occupied by one. It was wonderful to see the expression on their faces. An auction is to be held to provide cushion seats for everybody since people feel it is a long-felt need. The newest attraction is a bell. It rings every time anybody enters. My wife is rather distressed as she can't attend regularly. It has been almost a year since she went last. This pains her. I shall be delighted to reserve the best seat for you if you wish. Hoping to have been of service to you.
I remain,
Yours sincerely
The schoolmaster
PS: The hymn sheets are behind the door.