“I urge my wife to eat more, but she is too busy. Doesn’t take care of herself. Why should I be blamed for that?” If every community is riddled with unwritten norms, the invisible scaffolding that frames the behaviour of husbands and wives in village India paints the inner workings of a community. That outburst from a man at a community meeting, led to some aggressive talk-back, as expected. In the end, with some facilitation, the conversation moved towards mutuality: men and women agreeing to help each another in finishing their daily chores and eat healthy.