"Aiyaiyo Stalin! How can you doubt that? After all, I didn’t name your elder brother Lenin, did I?"
"I do hope these temporary setbacks won’t slow down our plans for global revolution, Appa?"
"What makes you ask that, Stalin?"
"Appa, you had said if the OBC quota is not quickly accepted, untold violence would erupt all over the country. obc reservations have still not been accepted by the Supreme Court, Appa! But where is the countrywide violence?"
"Aiyaiyo! Be patient, Stalin. I need more time for instigating countrywide violence. We must deal first with DMK’s own violence!"
"Why did DMK workers resort to violence and burn down our progressive newspaper, Appa?"
"Don’t blame them, Stalin. It was my mistake. I should have spelt out clearly the DMK’s reservation policy—what is reserved for you, what is reserved for Azhagiri and what is reserved for your sister!"
"Will your reservation policy please OBCs all over the country, Appa?"
"Of course it will, Stalin! All three of you are OBCs, aren’t you? One hundred per cent reservation for OBC leaders would be unprecedented. I am sure it will delight all OBCs!"
"Appa, you also threatened to take unilateral action against Sri Lanka if the central government did not respond to its attacks against our fishermen. The central government has still not acted, Appa. What happened to that threat?"
"Aiyaiyo Stalin! How dense you are! How can I take unilateral action without control of the army? How can I control the army without becoming prime minister of India? How can I become PM without the present government being toppled? I was sending a subtle message of hope to our stormtroopers, Stalin!"
"Appa, Appa! How exciting, Appa! Is there really a chance for you to become PM, Appa?"
"You disappoint me, Stalin! You really think I’d ever give up the chief minister’s post for you without myself becoming PM?"
"Sorry Appa! I should have thought of that. But how will the present government ever be toppled?" "Don’t worry, Stalin! Our road to Delhi will pass through Lucknow!"
(Puri can be reached at rajinderpuri2000@yahoo.com)
