Ahh, now everything is clear! There is a real economy and a fictitious economy. In the fictitious economy, rich guys buy and sell stock to make markets soar or plunge for huge profit. In the real economy, poor saps investing in shares lose their life savings.
To defuse this horrible crisis, governments the world over have devised a strategy. They are providing huge financial bailouts to distressed banks and businesses. To help rich guys sinking in the fictitious economy, the government gives them big money from the real economy collected from real taxpayers. This helps struggling tycoons of the fictitious economy survive. This strategy provides surefire success. That’s why our government has urged state-owned insurance companies, public sector banks and mutual funds to help distressed business.
I think this is how things work. Harsh Chorimaal, ace wizard of the fictitious economy and CEO of a big company employing 2,500 workers, wakes up one morning and sacks 1,500 of them. He then phones a public sector bank in the real economy. He tells the banker: "I am in huge trouble. I’ve sacked 1,500 employees without notice. I need a bailout."
"Tsk-tsk!" the banker says. "Without notice? We must meet."
"How about dinner at the Taj at eight?"
"Right."
Chorimaal, his part-time social secretary and the banker after downing pegs of Blue Label dig into a sumptuous four-course dinner. Over dinner, Chorimaal explains his predicament. "I’ll have to think about it," the banker says.
"Do that," Chorimaal turns to his part-time secretary who took notes. "Miss Oomphwala, have you understood everything?"
"I just need a few clarifications, Sir," she replies.
"I must rush. Why don’t you accompany our guest to our room booked in the hotel and let him explain?" Chorimaal leaves. The banker and Miss Oomphwala go up for further discussion. Next day, the bank provides the bailout.
All 1,500 employees are reinstated at half their original pay packets. One worker protests: "You got a bailout, sir! Why cut our perks?"
"You belong to the real economy, dummy," the CEO snarls. "Only we belong to the fictitious economy!"
(Puri can be reached at rajinderpuri2000@yahoo.com)
